Parental Favoritism and Its Lasting Effects on Adult Children

Parental favouritism hit me hard growing up in a middle-class Nairobi home. I was the middle child, always on the outside looking in. My two siblings got the warm words, the extra pocket money, and the proud smiles at family dinners. If I brought home decent grades, the response was usually a quick nod or “that’s nice.” If anything broke or went missing, eyes turned to me first.

I spent years thinking I just wasn’t trying hard enough. Maybe if I were quieter, smarter, and more helpful, things would change. Family events felt like performances where I had no lines. Parents would list my brother’s university admission or my sister’s new job while I sat there holding a plate of food I barely touched. That constant comparison chipped away at my confidence. I started looking for approval everywhere else—from teachers, friends, and even strangers online.

People who knew us casually thought we were a tight-knit family. They never saw the quiet hurt I carried. As adults the pattern continued. My siblings received help starting businesses and paying fees. When I asked for similar support, the answer was always “You’re strong; you’ll manage.” I got angry. I thought about walking away for good. Then came the property talk. I overheard my parents say most of the family land and savings would go to the children they “trusted more”. Those words still echo. I finally understood this wasn’t about me being difficult. Read more https://drbokko.com/?p=37390